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Category Archives: Audrey's Posts

Road work, or not?

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Sometimes you just have to wonder.

Construction crews are demolishing (with the exception of historic spans) and rebuilding the viaduct that crosses the Straight River and railroad tracks in Faribault.

But if you were to drive from the east toward this bridge, which really isn’t a bridge any more because most of it’s gone, you might be a bit confused by the signage.

To your right, next to the driveway into Kwik Trip, you would see this sign: “END ROAD WORK.”

But, if you glanced to your left, just on the other side of this Minnesota Highway 60 river crossing, you would read: “ROAD CLOSED.”

Polar opposites.

Open or closed?

I’m no lawyer.

But I can almost hear the argument: “Your honor, my client was simply driving along, obeying all traffic laws, when this happened. Any reasonable person would rightfully expect that ‘END ROAD WORK’ means the roadway is open to traffic and that it is safe to proceed.”

Yup, if I was the Minnesota Department of Transportation, I might consider removing that “END ROAD WORK” sign. At least until the bridge is rebuilt.

Pork sandwiches at the farm store

 

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

 

My husband took me on a cheap date Saturday.

To the local farm store.

For 80 cents, Randy bought me two barbecued pork sandwiches and chips, served on a flimsy paper plate, and a cup of Pepsi.

I’m not complaining. Nothing beats a good pork sandwich.

And if I have to choose between eating out and cooking a meal, I’ll always opt for the dining experience, even it it’s waiting in line for food at a farm store celebrating 40 years in business.

Plate filled, I searched for a place to eat. Seeing a familiar face, the local director of fire and code services, I aimed for him, exchanged pleasantries and set my Pepsi down on an end cap shelf.

Randy joined me and put his pop next to mine. “Weed killer,” he commented, pushing aside a large container of something.

I looked. Sure enough, of all the shelves I could have chosen in this spacious farm/home/hardware store, I had plunked my Pepsi beside weed killer.

“Well, if we get poisoned, we’re standing by the right guy,” I said, looking directly at Mike, the emergency director.

Not missing a beat, he replied, “I know how to dial 9-1-1.”

We laughed.

Good food. Good company. Good humor.

What more could a girl expect on a date to the farm store?

I spy a bird

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

I don’t especially like birds. Yeah, yeah, I probably shouldn’t admit that.

So I surprised even myself when I actually photographed a bird.

It’s not like I was seeking out this mourning dove.

But there she was, sitting calmly among the dried branches of a trumpet vine in my Mom’s backyard.

I would have bypassed this camouflaged creature had I not looked at this mess of seemingly dead sticks and wondered why my Mom would want this pile of twigs. But then I remembered that the trumpet vine is like the proverbial ugly duckling that eventually transforms into a beautiful swan.

There the mourning dove sat, motionless as a statue, which is exactly what I thought I was seeing. Earlier my Mom and I had been searching for a missing plastic owl to strategically place in her yard as a blackbird deterrent. So a fake mourning dove did not seem at all out of the realm of possibilities.

Then I saw the slightest flicker of the bird’s eye. This dove was real, very real, and she was nesting.

Not one to pass up an opportunity for a nature close-up, even if the subject is a bird, I grabbed my camera and started snapping pictures. I was fully expecting a flurry of feathers to come flying at me. It never happened. The mourning dove sat perfectly still throughout the photo shoot.

Now this is a bird I could actually, maybe, like.

You see, I have not-so-fond childhood memories of barn swallows dive-bombing me as I walked down the barn aisle with a wheelbarrow full of ground feed.

And then there was that rooster, that mean, mean rooster, chasing me down, pecking fiercely at the backs of my legs. Until one day, Dad walked to the shed and grabbed the ax.

So there, you have my explanation for keeping my distance from anything with feathers. From afar, I’m fine. Put me any closer, and guaranteed, I can fly faster than a bird.

# 

When I talked to my Mom recently and asked about the mourning dove, she told me the bird, nest and all, had simply vanished.

“A cat?” I asked.

“No,” replied my Mom. “I think it was the wind.”

Al Coleman or Norm Franken

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By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

Talk about some creative marketing.

The St. Paul Saints independent minor league baseball team, “independent” being the key word here, gave away Count von “Re” Count bobblehead dolls at Saturday night’s game.

Fans actually waited in line overnight to get a Norm Franken/Al Coleman doll dressed in suit, bow tie and black cape to resemble Sesame Street’s Count von Count. That Count teaches kids to count.

My oldest daughter waited with a friend for 1 ½ hours to get one of the 2,500 split personality candidate replicas.

Already, these novelty bobbleheads have hit the online auction eBay. I checked Tuesday morning and nearly 25 were offered with bids ranging from a low of $9.99 to $47.28.

Even if you’re tired of the undetermined Senate situation, you really do have to chuckle at the Saints’ spin on the race. “The head will spin reminding fans of the dizzying experience that has been this state’s U.S. Senate race,” read promotional information from the Saints’ website.

Simply by turning the two-faced head, fans can choose their personal preferred winner. Al Franken’s face is on one half of the doll, Norm Coleman’s on the other.

Independent Senate candidate Dean Barkley threw out the first pitch at Saturday’s game and also offered his own humorous televised commentary.

Apparently the Count von “Re” Count promotion worked. The Saints played to a sold-out crowd and won the game. Plus, they got plenty of publicity, the intended result.

Now I’m wondering, will someone market Count von “Re” Count Halloween costumes this October?

Thoughts on Memorial Day

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

On Monday, I attended the 140th annual Memorial Day parade in Faribault, as I have for years.

As parades go, most wouldn’t consider it much. Two bands, a contingent of old cars, the military Crack Squad from Shattuck-St. Mary’s School, guys on motorcycles, local politicians, fire trucks, cop cars, marching Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts, horses and, most importantly, veterans, comprise the units.

The entire event lasts about 20 minutes.

But for those of us gathered along Central Avenue, the parade is perfect for Memorial Day.

There’s a subdued, respectful reverence among the crowd.

Even the kids, who scramble in the street for tossed tootsie rolls, seem less competitive.

A sense of camaraderie, neighborliness and kindness prevails.

Friends and neighbors gather along the curb in their lawn chairs. Grandparents hold grandchildren close. Kids tightly clutch American flags handed out by the Boy Scouts and their dads. 

In all of the parade moments—the honored soldiers waving from convertibles, the flags flying in the strong steady wind, the old cars beeping their short, shrill horns — it is the kids that bring this day full circle. They have no idea, as they wave their tiny American flags, what the men marching just feet away have done for them.

 

But I am hopeful, that because their families have brought them to the parade, that some day they will understand the true significance of Memorial Day. They too will carry on the tradition of honoring those who gave their lives for freedom.

The art of recycling

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

“Vintage Garden Art and Plant Sale,” the classified ad read.

This has to be good, I thought. Vintage plus garden plus art equals creatively recycled outdoor artwork.

I was not disappointed.

Surprised, though.

I wasn’t expecting to see glassware repurposed into “gazing glass,” as Faribault artist Mary Ellen Velzke calls the pieces she creates. She glues together old glasses, bowls, plates, bottles and other novelty glassware for the one-of-a-kind garden artwork. Stuck on a metal pipe, the glass menagerie can be used as a yard or garden accent piece.

Mary Ellen probably wouldn’t call herself an artist. She does this just for fun, she said, and has made more than 100 of these gazing glass pieces.

But her friend Gini Sartor says Mary Ellen has a talent for color and putting together the glassware.

She’s right. I admired gazing glass pieces in royal blue, olive green, aquamarine, cranberry and amber. This gardener possesses just the right eye for mixing and matching the glassware she finds at garage sales or gets from friends.

I also admired Mary Ellen’s plate mirrors. My name, not hers. But that’s exactly what they are—mirrors, purchased at a craft store and placed in the centers of vintage plates.

Gini added her own artistic flair to the yard sale with her fence sections in cheery hues like hot pink and cornflower blue.

These two even displayed rhubarb artistically—tied in a bundle and placed inside a tissue-lined vintage bucket.

And then there was the old white door with the peeling paint and missing trio of glass panes. Mary Ellen kept her son from tossing it away. Even though I knew the door was meant as a piece of art, I could almost picture it (with a little work) as a “new” front door on my house.

I didn’t purchase anything at the garden art sale, but I left inspired by the recycling creativity of these two women.

Blue flags

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

“There along the creek rushes were growing, and blue flags. Every morning the blue flags were new. They stood up dark blue and purple among the green rushes.

I always wondered about the “blue flags” author Laura Ingalls Wilder described in her children’s book On the Banks of Plum Creek.

“Each blue flag had three velvet petals that curved down like a lady’s dress over hoops. From its waist three ruffled silky petals stood up and curved together. When Laura looked down inside them, she saw three narrow pale tongues, and each tongue had a strip of golden fur on it.”

By that description, I should have known Laura was writing about irises.

It was my Mom, though, who enlightened me. While visiting her recently in southwestern Minnesota, only 25 miles from Plum Creek, I admired the lovely bluish purple irises blooming on the west side of her garage.

“Those are blue flags,” said my Mom, whose favorite of all flowers are irises.

Blue flags, the same flowers that grew wild among the prairie grasses along Plum Creek in the 1870s. Laura described in detail the blue flags, black-eyed Susans, violets, buttercups, morning glories and other flowers that surrounded the Ingalls’ dug-out home. She would gather bouquets of flowers for her Ma.

I can only imagine how much Caroline Ingalls appreciated the delicate beauty of these flowers in a place that could sometimes seem so lonely, so vast, so harsh.

Some Iowa dirt

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

“Good afternoon. Iowa Department of Agriculture and Land Stewardship, how may I direct your call?”

“Um, yes, I need to talk to someone about an erosion issue.”

“One minute please.”

“Hello. Iowa Division of Soil Conservation, how may I help you?”

“Hi, I’m from southern Minnesota, and we’re having a little problem that I think has something to do with you guys down there in Iowa. We’ve got dirt piling up everywhere here.”

“Just a minute. I need to connect you with someone in our Field Services Bureau.”

“Hello. Iowa Field Services.”

“Uh, yeah, I’m from southern Minnesota, about 30 miles south of the Twin Cities, and um, we’re having a major dust storm. The wind’s from the south, blowing soil straight up 35 from Iowa. Conditions are pretty bad. Visibility is near zero. I’m looking out my office window right now and I can barely see the hardware store across the street, it’s that bad.”

“So you think Iowa is the source of this problem?”

“Uh, yeah, this doesn’t look like any Minnesota dirt I’ve ever seen, and the wind, like I said, is from the south gusting up to 40 miles per hour. We’ve got big problems. There are actually dirt drifts piling up on roads and in driveways. We have a foot of dirt inside our lobby. It’s a heckuva deal.”

 

“This sounds like a serious situation. I could try and send someone up tomorrow morning for a soil sample. We can check that against our computer data base to see if it’s a match for Iowa dirt. But, come to think of it, we’re spread pretty thin right now. I’ve got most of my team working the northern half of Iowa dealing with a soil erosion emergency. OK if I get back to you in a few days?”

 

“You bet.”

Syttende Mai at the old Trondjhem church

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

I may not understand Norwegian. But when I attended a Syttende Mai celebration on Sunday, I understood the depth to which those gathered value their heritage, and historic Trondhjem church.

Had I not known we were in Minnesota, I would have thought we were in Trondhjem, Norway. Set atop a steep wind-swept hill overlooking the picturesque rolling countryside near Lonsdale, this church could have been in the Old Country.

Inside the sanctuary, I closed my eyes and listened. “Ja, vi elsker dette landet…” worshippers sang. I could almost hear the voices of Norwegian immigrants uniting in the Norwegian national anthem on May 17, Norway’s Constitution Day. Norwegians settled this area in the 1860s, formed Trondhjem Lutheran congregation in 1876, built this second of their churches in 1899.

The church closed in 1988 when a new sanctuary was built. That same year, Trondhjem Community Preservation Society formed to save the building, which is on the National Register of Historic Places.

This is a church beautiful in its simplicity.

I walked through double front doors, green on one side, red on the other, that open into an angled entry. Inside the wood-planked, cream-colored entrance, two bell ropes dangle. Plain, arched windows are edged with wood frames painted in brick red. Old wooden pews, 15 total, rest upon the hand-hewed wooden floor. Copies of The Concordia Hymnal, copyright 1965, await worshippers. Inside the cover of one, I found a squished box elder bug.

Then I looked toward the ceiling. There lies a “rare treasure,” according to Joyce Fossum Pflaum of Rosemount, who grew up here. While restoring the church, volunteers uncovered a hand-stenciled ceiling, hidden under a layer of embossed tin and a layer of suspended acoustical tile.

Preserved for more than a century, the ceiling plaster and painting have since been restored, with patches of the original artwork left untouched. The detailed, repetitive stenciling extends to an alcove that shelters a spired altar, hand-painted with a scene of Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane.

You really need to visit this church to appreciate the beauty and craftsmanship imprinted by the hands of Norwegian immigrants. Volunteers have worked hard to preserve its history and are currently partnering with the Minnesota Historical Society on displays.

Preservation President Merle Fossum asked for donations of old farm tools and kitchen objects, including an old lefse rolling pin, at Sunday’s Syttende Mai celebration.

Later, after a musical performance by The Lost Norwegians, we retreated to the fellowship hall for lefse and other ethnic treats. As I sampled creamy, cinnamon-laced Rommegrote (pudding) I thought about the Norwegian immigrants who so many years ago walked this land. Their rugged determination, devotion to God and to their homeland shaped this place, this Trondjhem in Minnesota. 

For more information about old Trondjhem Church and events held there, log on to www.trondhjempreservation.org.

Learning about llamas at the Llamapalooza

By Audrey Kletscher Helbling

I’ve always considered llamas cute, even if they sometimes spit.

None spit at me on Saturday when I toured llama-filled barns at the Rice County Fairgrounds. Occasionally, though, when I was moving in a bit close with my camera, I wondered.

But, all-in-all, these registered llamas seemed a friendly bunch. There were 175 of them in Faribault for the Llamas of Minnesota event, “Llamapalooza.” Llama owners from Minnesota, Iowa and Wisconsin gather for this annual show and competition.

Now this may sound strange to you, but if llamas were people, I’m quite certain they would work as news reporters or writers. Yeah, I know, sometimes I think unusual thoughts.

I have my reasons to think this of llamas. As I strolled through the barns, I watched these curious animals swivel their heads in unison to follow the action. Their big eyes took in everything.

So, because I too am observant, here’s what I noticed:

Llamas, even though cute and clean, do smell, just like any animals in any barn.

Llamas make a sound sort of like a whimpering baby.

Llamas look pretty relaxed when they’re lying down, their necks stretched flat on the ground.

Llamas get a summer haircut, with their fur shaved in the centers of their bodies, to keep cool.

Llamas lose their fur. I saw tufts here and there in the barn aisles.

More women than men were tending the llamas, at least when I walked through the barns. Could that explain the area rugs carpeting the llama pens? Likely not. But the patterned rugs added a nice, decorative touch to the cattle barns.